maria_j_harper

Sorry I don't have more.

<cut>

=> Rose, choose your fighting partner

For the first round, you will be fighting in teams, but the winning team will be divided and pitted against each other. Therefore, your choice must be made with strategy.

=> Speak to Aradia
=> Speak to Kanaya
=> Speak to Vriska
((Will return to this menu each time a conversation ends until a partner is chosen.))

<Speak to Aradia>
You don’t know much about Aradia Megido, and you think it’s high time you learned more.

Rose: Hello Aradia, are you looking for a combat partner too?
Aradia: Yes, I am. Why?

=> Antagonize
Or
=> Befriend

<Antagonize>
Rose: I’m just checking my options. Covering my hoops, as my brother would say.
Aradia: I thought the term was ‘covering your bases.’
Rose: Exactly. Anyway, if you haven’t claimed a partner, then that means Vriska is up for grabs. She seems like she would make a quite ruthless partner! Or failing her, Kanaya would make an intriguing ally as well.
Aradia: ...Is that your underhanded way of implying that I’m not good enough?
Rose: I suppose it is.
Aradia: Well then! Fuck you too!
Rose: See you in the ring.

=> Talk to someone else

<Befriend>
Rose: Well I don’t know you that well, but I thought we might work well together. How are you in combat?
Aradia: None of the girls in our sector are lightweights, it would be foolish to underestimate any of them. But I’ll tell you this: Vriska and I have sparred before, and I certainly wasn’t the one who had to be flown to her quest cocoon afterwards.
Rose: Really? I didn’t figure you for the type, no offence. It seems my original analysis of your character may need a bit of re-evaluation.
Aradia: Please don’t psychoanalyze me. It makes me uncomfortable.
Rose: *shrug* I do that to everyone!

=> Partner up with Aradia
=> Talk to someone else

<Partner up>
Rose: So, you’ve seen my style, do you think we would fight well together?
Aradia: Yes, I think our skills will compliment each other well.
Rose: I suppose only time will tell. Are you ready to beat the other team?
Aradia: Within an inch of her life.
Rose: Her life?
Aradia: Nevermind.

=> Talk to someone else
Rose: I’m going to go ask around some more, but we can talk again later.

<Talk to someone else>
Rose: We’ll talk more later. I want to see what the others here are about.
Aradia: Okay, just be careful around Vriska. She’ll make you think she’s your friend, but she’s not.
Rose: Duly noted, thanks for the advice!

<Speak to Vriska>
Rose: Hello. Looking for a combat partner?
Vriska: Yeah. Kanaya wants me to be on her team, 8ut I’m not so sure. I’ve got some dou8ts as to whether Miss Fussyfangs can pull her own w8 when it comes to dueling.
Rose: Looking for a more aggressive partner then?
Vriska: Pretty much, yeah.

=> Antagonize
=> Befriend

<Antagonize>
Rose: Well I would offer, but I think you would just slow me down.
Vriska: Wh8t? Are you seriously challenging me? I could take you down in eight seconds, Lalonde! I’ve got ALL the luck, after all.
Rose: Really? Because I have the power of arcane magics at my fingertips, and unlike you, a brain between my ears. Does luck really matter, when you can see everything before it happens? I wonder.
Vriska: Hm… may8e we’ll just have to find out! 8ut round one wouldn’t 8e any real test, not if we had people helping us! How’s this? We partner up for this round, and then next round I can squash you like a 8ug! Hahahahahahahaha!

=> Partner up with Vriska
=> Talk to someone else

<Partner up>
Rose: Sounds like a pretty good plan to me. Except that I’ll be the one squashing you.
Vriska: We’ll just have to see about that. Until then, I look forward to fighting with you. Team Heroes of Light for the win!
Rose: Yes.

<Befriend>
Rose: Yes, I’m looking for a partner too. Who do you think would be a good choice?
Vriska: Well me, o8viously! I’m the strongest fighter here! I’ve certainly killed the most people of anyone else in this whole competition!
Rose: Yes. One has to wonder about that. You seem to be obsessed with creating a certain perception for other people to have that you are a bloodthirsty killer. One could hardly escape the inquiry as to what might lie beyond that mask.
Vriska: Sh8t up! Don’t 8se th8t weird psyco8a88le on me!
Rose: I was just trying to be friendly.
Vriska: Well if you wanted to 8e my partner, you can forg8 a8out it!

=> Talk to someone else

<Talk to someone else>
Rose: Goodbye, I hope we can talk again! But I want to talk to some other people first.

<Speak to Kanaya>
Rose: Hello. Still don’t have a partner, I see.
Kanaya: No Unfortunately Vriska It Seems Would Rather Seek Partnership Elsewhere I Had Hoped That The Two Of Us Could Fight Together Rather Than Against Each Other
Rose: Well you would have wound up fighting each other anyways eventually.
Kanaya: Yes I Suppose You’re Right.

=> Antagonize
=> Befriend

<Antagonize>
Rose: Honestly, the way you stare all moony-eyed after that spiderbitch is almost pitiful. Don’t you think it’s time to move on? She’s clearly not interested.
Kanaya: Rose I Enjoy A Bit Of Black Flirting Every Now And Then As Much As The Next Troll But Theres A Line Between Snarky One-Ups-Manship And Flat-Out Meanness And You Just Crossed It!
Rose: Well if you can’t take the heat, Kanaya, I suggest that you get out of the kitchen. I’m throwing down sick fires, and Vriska is putting a plethora of irons in those fires, so either get cooking with petrol or go home. The point of this extended mixed metaphor is that if what I’m saying now hurts you oh-so-delicate feelings so much then you have two options: suck it up and act like a big girl, or give up right here and now, because in the ring things are only going to get worse.
Kanaya: Very Well I Didnt Want To Have To Do This But If That’s How Were Going To Play It Then I Think I’ll Have To Re-Deploy The Flighty-Broads-And-Their-Snarky-Horseshit-O-Meter.
Rose: The what?
Kanaya: Its A Gauge For How Much We Antagonize Each Other Karkat Made It Up
Rose: Why am I not surprised that your recurring gags come from your unrequited pale pal?
Kanaya: I… What? Karkat And I… Were Not Like That! And Whats That Supposed To Mean, Asking Me Why Youre Not Surprised?
Rose: It appears I have achieved at least one snark tick in my favor.
Kanaya: Not for long.

=> Partner up with Kanaya
=> Talk to someone else

<Befriend>
Rose: You’re better than she deserves anyways. Just because you often choose the path of least resistance, she seems to think you’re weak. That is her folly.
Kanaya: Thank You Rose That Is Most Kind Of You To Say Honestly I’m Not Sure If My Skill In Combat Warrants Such Praise Im No Thief Of Light After All.
Rose: You’re a chainsaw-wielding vampire, anyone who doesn’t take you seriously as an opponent is either insane, or merely stupid.

=> Partner up with Kanaya
=> Talk to someone else

<Partner up>
Rose: Shall we fight together for round one then? Vriska did say she was looking for a more aggressive partner. Maybe fighting against her would be the best way to show her she should have chosen you.
Kanaya: Hm… Perhaps Yes That Could Work Very Well

<Talk to someone else>
Rose: I’m going to go talk to some others before I decide on who I want to partner up with. Any message you’d like me to pass along to a certain someone?
Kanaya: No I Dont Think That Would Be A Good Idea And Besides II Get The Impression That You Would Most Likely Twist My Words
Rose: I can’t imagine what could have given you that impression!

Round 1: Strife!

Mix and match catchphrases, if desired.
Rose + Aradia vs. Kanaya + Vriska:
Aradia’s mid-strife catchphrases may include things like “Take that, Spiderbitch!” and “Time to settle this!” (Because puns)
Rose’s may include “Hm, interesting.” and “Your obsessions will be your downfall!”
Vriska’s may include: “ALLLLLLLL of the luck!” and “I’ll chop you up and use you for 88!”
Kanaya’s may include: “I’ve Got Your Back!” and “Terezi was right, red blood does taste like candy!”

Rose + Vriska vs. Kanaya + Aradia
Aradia’s: “I could do this all day, I am Maid of Time.” and “Let’s make her pay!”
Vriska’s: “Nice shot, you almost hit me!” and “Heroes of light for the win!
Rose’s: “Freud would have a field day.” and “Well I think we all saw that coming.”
Kanaya’s: “Allow Me To Introduce You To My Chainsaw. His Name Is Mister Pointy.” and “You Tore My Dress! Now You’ve done It!”

Rose + Kanaya vs. Aradia + Vriska
Aradia’s: “Let’s end this quickly, it’s not like I’m Maid of Time.” and “You never listen, do you?”
Vriska’s: “Careful Megido! Friendly fire much?” and “With friends like these, who needs enemies?”
Rose’s: “The Horrorterrors say hello.” and “You’ll have to do better than that.”
Kanaya’s: “Victory Is So Close I Can Taste It!” and “Perhaps You Should Have Chosen A Better Partner!”

Post-battle dialogues.

After Rose + Kanaya vs. Vriska + Aradia or Rose + Vriska vs. Kanaya + Aradia battles, Vriska will come talk to Kanaya.
Vriska: “Hey, you got some pretty good shots in, I was impressed!
Kanaya: Really?
Vriska: Hell yeah! And here I thought you were just some prim little Miss Fussyfangs, all nag and no 8ite!
Kanaya: Gee, thanks.
Vriska: Kanayaaaaaaaa, I’m TRYING to pay you a compliment! No need to get so sarcastic and defensive a8out it! Anyways… I was hoping that after this is all over… you could may8e come over to my hive sometime?
Kanaya: What For? Do You Want Me To Make You Another Dress?
Vriska: Well you can if you want to, 8ut mostly I would just like to spend some time with you. Like… on a date.
Kanaya: I… Yes! That Would Be… Lovely!
*Vriska leaves*
Rose: Are you sure that’s a good idea? It seems to me that pursuing a romance with someone who has hurt you so much in the past can only lead to heartbreak.
Kanaya: Perhaps, But I Would Regret It If I Didn’t Give It A Chance.

After the Rose + Kanaya vs. Vriska + Aradia battle Rose and Kanaya will talk
Rose: We make a pretty good team!
Kanaya: Surprisingly, Yes!
Rose: It’s not that surprising.

=> Flirt (black)
=> Flirt (red)

<Black>
Rose: I look forward to sparring with you in the future, Miss Maryam.
Kanaya: Yes, I Too Look Forward To Settling Our Score.
Rose: Score?
Kanaya: The Flighty-Broads-And-Their-Snarky-Horseshit-O-Meter Score.
Rose: I see. Yes. I look forward to round 2 of our little dance then.

<Red>
Rose: In fact, I admire you quite a lot. Perhaps you would be amenable to going out with me, redways, once this is all over?
Kanaya: Vriska Already Asked Me. And Besides, It is Hardly Seemly For You To Pursue The Red Quadrant With Someone Who Is Supposed To Be Your Next Rival.
GAME OVER!
You were caught flirting with Kanaya, and kicked out. While a certain amount of black flirting is inevitable in these situations, such blatant red flirting is strictly forbidden during this competition.

And Vriska will confront Aradia
Vriska: Wh8t the h8ll Megido? Your 8ttacks were hitting m8 more th8n the other team!
Aradia: You’re the one who wanted me to hate you.
Vriska: Wh8t? Wh8t is your problem? Do you seriously h8 me enough to ruin this whole competition for yourself, as well as me?
Aradia: Clearly, I do.
Vriska: That… is so… romantic!!!!!!!!

After the Rose + Vriska vs. Kanaya + Aradia fight
Vriska: Say, we make a pretty good team. I’ll almost 8e sorry to see you lose and go home the next round!
Rose: Please, spare me your theatrics. I’m going to be the one sending you home, and we both know it.

=> Flirt
=> Round 2!

<Flirt>
Rose: I’ve come to enjoy our little rivalry.
Vriska: Yes, I have as well. ;:::)

After the Rose + Aradia vs. Kanaya + Vriska fight
Vriska: That was some class-A fighting, Kanaya! Even though we lost. Thanks for having my back. You’re a really good friend, you know that?
(Sad)Kanaya: Yeah, Sure.

Rose: Well you were right about underestimating people, that fight was rather intense! Though I got the sense that you had something of a personal vendetta against Vriska.
Aradia: She killed me. It was a while ago, and maybe I should be over it by now, but I’m not really.
Rose: On the contrary. If anyone ever tries to kill you, you are well within your rights to try to kill them right back! But I hope that you’ll give me as good of a fight as you gave her.
Aradia: You can bet on it.

=> Flirt
=> Round 2!

<Flirt>
Rose: Past relationships aside, it appears we are nemesis now. At least, in the terms of the game.
Aradia: Yes. I look forward to seeing how our rivalry plays out.

<Round 2!>
PSYCH!!!
You cannot yet proceed to round 2, you must first be the other guy!

=> What other guy?

=> Be Karkat

You are now Karkat Vantas. You are in a completely different sector, and you are having a bit of trouble choosing your fighting partner.

=> Speak to Sollux
=> Speak to John
=> Speak to Terezi

<Speak to Sollux>
Karkat: HEY SOLLUX.
Sollux: '2up KK?

=> Befriend
=> Antagonize
=> Ask about the new kid

<Befriend>
Karkat: OH, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL. i'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS WHO ARE THE FUCKING BANES OF MY PITIFUL EXISTENCE. wHAT'S UP WITH YOU?
Sollux: II wa2 ju2t thiinkiing over whiich per2on II want to giive the overwhelmiing advantage of a partner2hiip wiith me. 'Cau2e let'2 face it, my p2yoniic2 could make pretty much any team unbeatable. What do you 2ay KK, wanna team up and kick 2ome a22 together?

=> Partner up with Sollux
=> Ask about the new kid
=> Talk to someone else

<Antagonize>
Karkat: NOTHING MUCH, JUST WASTING MY PRECIOUS TIME TALKING TO SOME BULGEBREATHED MUSTARDBLOOD WITH A DUALITY KINK.
Sollux: Heh, yeah? Well your breath'2 no boquet of flower2 eiither, Vanta2. How'2 that humiiliiatiing clu2terfuck you call a court2hiip wiith TZ goiing? Have you even deciided whiich quadrant you're tryiing for wiith her? Of cour2e not, becau2e you're a dumba22.
Karkat: FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHICH QUADRANT!
Sollux: Well you'd better not briing your red feeliing2 for her iinto the riing. Thii2 i2 a black-rom only zone, okay? Once you're out of the runniing, you can va2ciilate to your bloodpusher'2 mutated content, but untiil then, 2tay black or 2tay away, got iit?
Karkat: I KNOW THAT, MORON! AS OFTEN AS I HAVE GIVEN YOU REASON TO BELIEVE CONTRARY, I AM NOT AN UTTER AND COMPLETE IMBICILE.
Sollux: Could have fooled me.
Karkat: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU OFFERING ME ADVICE ANYWAYS, FUCKWAD? DON'T YOU REALIZE I'M YOUR FUCKING COMPETITION?
Sollux: Ju2t giiviing you a fighting chance KK. Heck, II'll even let you joiin my team iif you want.

=> Partner up with Sollux
=> Ask about the new kid
=> Talk to someone else

<Ask about the new kid>
Karkat: Hey, what's that human doing here? Do you know?
Sollux: *shrug* Apparently he'2 a tran2fer 2tudent. 2eem2 kinda lame two me. He ii2 godtiier though, 2o obviiou2ly he'2 got at lea2t 2ome abiiliity two handle hiim2elf iin a fiight.
Karkat: IF YOU SAY SO. HE JUST SEEMS LIKE A GIANT IDIOT TO ME.
Sollux: Well yeah, but maybe that'2 ju2t part of hi2 2trategy. You never know wiith the2e tran2fer studtent2! Diid you ever 2ee IIn Whiich A Cla22 Of Japanese High2chooler2 I2 Put On An II2land And Forced To Fight Each Other Two The Death Until There Is Only One Survivor?
Karkat: SOLLUX, THIS ISN'T BATTLE FUCKING ROYAL. NOBODY'S GOING TO DIE, AT LEAST NOT FOR REAL, AND EGBERT IS NOT A FUCKING MASS MURDERER.
Sollux: Yeah, II know. Voiice2 of the doomed, remember? IIf we were gonna diie, II would know about iit. II wa2 ju2t 2ayiing that maybe there'2 more to the new kiid than meet2 the eye.

=> Befriend
=> Antagonize
=> Talk to someone else

<Partner up>
Karkat: BUT YEAH, ANYWAYS, LET'S TEAM UP. BETWEEN YOUR PSYONICS AND MY ABILITY TO JUST COMPLETELY FUCK SHIT UP WITH MY SYCLES LIKE THE KIND OF LEADER I AM, WE SHOULD LEAVE THOSE OTHER GUYS IN THE DUST, RIGHT?
Sollux: You know iit!

<Talk to someone else>
Karkat: OK, I HAVE IMPORTANT LEADERLY THINGS TO ATTEND TO, THINGS THAT ARE ABOVE THE JUSRISDICTION OF WIMPY LITTLE NOOKLICKERS LIKE YOU. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. HEY, WE'RE STILL FRIENDS, RIGHT?
Sollux: Yes, diipshiit, How many time2 do II have to tell you thi2? No matter whatel2e happen2, we wiill alway2 be friiends.

<Speak to John>
Karkat: HI, I'M KARKAT.
John: Nice to meet you Karkat! *holds out hand*
Karkat: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
John: Oh! Right, I forgot that there might be some differences in our cultures! In human culture, we shake hands when we meet each other. It's a gesture that indicates trust!
Karkat: AND WHAT IF YOU DON'T TRUST THE PERSON WHO'S TRYING TO SHAKE HANDS WITH YOU?
John: Oh come on Karkat, you can trust me!
Karkat: *reaches out and takes John's hand* *jerks back* WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
John: Haha, psych! Oh man, I really got you good, didn't I? I was holding a buzzer in my hand! It gave you a little electric shock, that's all!
Karkat: AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BUILD TRUST?
John: Well no. I was playing a prank on you!

=> Befriend
=> Antagonize
=> Ask about John

<Befriend>
Karkat: I HATE PRANKS, AND I THINK THAT THEY'RE STUPID. HOWEVER, YOU ARE NEW, SO I'LL GIVE YOU ONE FREE PASS. PRANK ME AGAIN, AND I'LL BE FORCED TO RIP OFF THE OFFENDING HAND AND SHOVE IT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS IT COMES OUT YOUR MOUTH.
John: Heh heh, yeah, okay, sorry. I guess I shouldn't go around playing pranks on aliens, huh? I could really wind up offending someone. Thank God Vriska was there to tell me at least a few of the basic things, or I could have really screwed up!
Karkat: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT THAT? HOW THE HELL IS THAT FUNNY?
John: I dunno, maybe because even though you were threatening me, you aren't all that menacing.
Karkat: FUCK YOU, I'M PLENTY MENACING! I'M A FUCKING BLOODTHIRSTY TROLL KILLING MACHINE!
John: Heh heh, yeah, okay, sure. Whatever you say Karkat.
Karkat: DON'T YOU DAR TALK TO ME IN THAT CONDESCENDING TONE, YOU LITTLE SHIT! I WILL STEP ON YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES, AND PEE ON THE THINGS THAT YOU EAT!
John: Sorry, I didn't mean to talk down to you.

=> Ask about John
=> Partner up with John
=> Talk to someone else

<Partner up>
Karkat: NO, YOU DIDN'T REALLY. I OVERREACTED. I DO THAT SOMETIMES. OKAY, ALL THE FUCKING TIME, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I'M ONLY TROLLIAN. ANYWAY, WANT TO BE ON MY TEAM?
John: Sure, sounds good!

<Antagonize>
Karkat: PRANKS HUH? I NORMALLY LIKE TO CONSIDER MYSELF ABOVE THAT SORT OF CHILDISH BULLSHIT, BUT FOR YOU, SHITLORD, I THINK I'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION. YOU HAD BETTER PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE PRANK-OFF TO END ALL PRANK-OFFS. I WILL BE METHODICAL AND RUTHLESS, I WILL- OH MY GOD! QUICK JOHN, LOOK BEHIND YOU!
John: Haha, nice try Karkat, but you cannot hope to beat John Egbert at a prank-off. He is simply the best there is. Did you honestly think I was going to fall for what is most likely literally the oldest trick in the book? The book, of course, being none other than Colonel Sassacre's- Ow! (Sollux used his psyonics to throw a small rock at John's head)
Karkat: YOU SHOULD HAVE LOOKED BEHIND YOU.
John: Wow, you got me! Alright, the battle is on! See you in the ring, Karkat!

=> Ask about John
=> Talk to someone else

<Ask about John>
Karkat: YOU'RE NEW, AREN'T YOU? WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM ANYWAYS?
John: Um... I came from Earth! The United States' Pacific Northwest, to be specific.
Karkat: YEAH, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHERE THAT IS.
John: It's in the Milkey Way. That's what we call our galaxy. I guess aliens would call it something different though, huh? Jeez, this is confusing! Let's just say I'm from long long ago in a galaxy far far away.
Karkat: WORKS FOR ME.

=> Befriend
=> Antagonize
=> Talk to someone else

<Talk to someone else>
Karkat: SEE YOU LATER, ASSBASKET.
John: Bye!

<Speak to Terezi>
Karkat: HI TEREZI.
Terezi: H3Y K4RK4T! YOU'R3 LOOK1NG P4RT1CUL4RLY 4DOR4BLOODTH1RSTY TOD4Y. >;]
Karkat: STOP IT. I KNOW WHAT YOUR'RE DOING, AND JUST STOP IT. YOU'RE HOPING THAT YOUR CONFUSING FLIRTATIONS WILL THROW ME OFF MY GAME AND LET YOU BEAT ME, WELL THINK A-FUCKING-GAIN, BECAUSE IT WON'T WORK! NOT THIS TIME!
Terezi: 4WW, 1T'S ALMOST SW33T HOW YOU TH1NK 3V3RYTH1NG R3VOLV3S 4ROUND YOU!
Karkat: YEAH, BECAUSE IT DOES. I'M ONLY ONE OF THE CENTRAL MAIN FUCKING CHARACTERS OF THIS SHITTY GAME!
Terezi: WH4T... 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT?
Karkat: JUST... NEVER MIND!

=> Befriend
=> Antagonize
=> Ask about new kid

<Befriend>
Karkat: LOOK, MAYBE WE GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT. JUST BECAUSE WE SHARE A ROMANTIC PAST TOGETHER, THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO DRUDGE UP OLD FEELINGS AND PROBLEMS NOW. MAYBE, FOR THIS LITTLE GAME AT LEAST, WE CAN KEEP IT ALL STRICTLY PLATONIC AND PROFESSIONAL. WHAT DO YOU SAY?
Terezi: HMMM >:/ 1 DON'T KNOW... YOU'R3 JUST SO MUCH FUN TO M3SS W1TH K4RK4T! 3V3RYTH1NG'S SO L1FE OR D34TH FOR YOU... 1T'S H1LAR1OUS! BUT Y34H, 1 GU3SS W3 COULD 4T L34ST TRY TH3 'JUST FR13NDS' TH1NG FOR 4 WH1L3.
Karkat: GOOD, SO WE'RE BATTLE PARTNERS THEN?
Terezi: UM... NO. SORRY, BUT H4LF THE FUN OF TH1S G4M3 COM3S FROM THE 4N1MOS1TY TH4T BR3WS B3TW33N THE P4RT1C1P4NTS! 1 DON'T W4NT TO GO 1NTO ROUND TWO W1TH SOM3ON3 1'M TRY1NG TO B3 FR13NDS W1TH! IF YOU W4NT TO COM3 BACK L4T3R 4ND TRY SOM3TH1NG A L1TTL3 BL4CK3R THOUGH, TH4T M1GHT B3 A DIFFERENT STORY! >;]

=> Ask about new kid
=> Talk to someone else

<Antagonize>
Karkat: WILL YOU PLEASE, PLEASE STOP LEADING ME AROUND IN CIRCLES AND PICK A FUCKING QUADRANT ALREADY?
Terezi: YOU'R3 ON3 TO T4LK, K4RK4T! YOU'V3 B33N S3NDING JUST 4S M4NY MIXED S1GN4LS 4S 1 H4V3! 1 M4Y H4V3 ST4RT3D OUR L1TTL3 F3UDS, BUT YOU W3R3 4LW4YS TH3 ON3 WHO TOOK TH3M P4ST THE L3V3L OF FR13NDLY COMP3T1T1ON AND STR41GHT ON TO C4L1G3NOUS T3RR1TORY!
Kartkat: BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED! AUGH, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO GOG-DAMN FRUSTRATING ALL THE TIME?
Terezi: 1 DON'T KNOW, 1 GU3SS 1 JUST 3NJOY W4TCHING YOU SQU1RM.

=> Ask about the new kid
=> Partner up with Terezi
=> Talk to someone else

<Ask about the new kid>
Karkat: SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE NEW KID? JOHN, I THINK HIS NAME IS.
Terezi: H3 S33MS PR3TTY H4RML3SS TO M3, JUST SOM3 DORK3Y L1TTLE N3RD. M4YB3 1'LL T4K3 P1TY ON H1M AND L3T H1M R1D3 MY CO4TT41LS TO ROUND TWO. BUT TH3N ROUND TWO WOULD B3 TOO 34SY, 4ND TH4T'S NO FUN!
Karkat: HE DOES SEEM PRETTY WEAK. IF ASININE PRANKSTERISM IS THE HEIGHT OF HIS ABILITES AS AN OPPONANT, HE'LL PROBABLY BE A LIABILITY TO ANYONE WHO PARTNERS WITH HIM.
Terezi: 1 KNOW! W3 SHOULD T34M UP 4ND ST1CK SOLLUX W1TH THE NOOB! M4YB3 W1TH JOHN 4S H1S H4NDYC4P, W3 M1GHT H4V3 MOR3 OF A F41R F1GHT, D3SP1T3 H1S 4PPL3-B3RRY BL4ST BL4STING 3Y3S.
Karkat: SOLLUX'S PSYONICS ARE IMPRESSIVE, BUT THEY BY NO MEANS GIVE HIM THE UPPER HAND. AS FOR JOHN, STUPID AS HE MAY SEEM, HE IS GODTIER. UNDERESTIMATING HIM COULD PROVE TO BE A BIG MISTAKE.

=> Befriend
=> Antagonize
=> Partner up with Terezi
=> Talk to someone else

<Partner up>
Karkat: YOU THINK BETWEEN US WE CAN TAKE EGDERP AND DOOMSDAY BOY?
Terezi: >:D THOS3 4R3 TH3 P3RF3CT N1CKN4M3S FOR THOS3 TWO DW33BS. OF COURS3 W3 CAN T4K3 TH3M! JUST TRY NOT TO B3 TOO S4D WH3N 1 KICK YOUR 4SS 4FT3R TH4T 1N ROUND TWO!
Karkat: AND YOU TRY NOT TO FEEL TOO SAD WHEN YOU'RE SITTING BY THE SIDELINES WATCHING- WOOPS, I MEAN SMELLING ME TAKE MY VICTORY!

<Talk to someone else>
Karkat: WELL AS MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO STAY AND GET NEEDLED BY YOU SOME MORE, I'VE GOT TO GO TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE NOW.
Terezi: >:? WHO?
Karkat: SOMEONE NOT BLIND, WHO DOESN'T MAKE MY HEAD HURT! (NOT TO MENTION MY HEART.)

Round 1: Strife!

Karkat + Sollux vs. Terezi + John
Karkat's catchphrases: "I'M FUCKING ADORABLOODTHIRSTY, AND READY TO KICK SOME ASS!" and "THERE'S ONLY ROOM HERE IN THE RING FOR TWO OF US!"
Sollux's: "Thii2 ii2 ju2t two ea2y." and "II'm gonna flatten you 2o hard, you'll be two-diimentiional!"
Terezi's: "TH3 PROS3CUT1ON M4Y B3 BL1ND, BUT R3ST 4SSUR3D, TH3 L34GU3 OF L3G1SL4C1R4TORS S33S 4LL!" and "I C4N'T W41T TO G3T 4 T4ST3 OF YOUR BLOOD!"
John's: "I ain't afraid of no ghost!" and "My prankster's gambit is soaring through the fucking roof!"

Karkat + John vs. Sollux + Terezi
Karkat's: "OKAY, PLAYTIMES OVER!" and "I'M DONE FUCKING AROUND, LET'S SETTLE THIS!"
Sollux's: "You're about to get... doubleteamed." and "You know what certaiin people alway2 say about not makiing them angry, 'cau2e you won't liike them when they're angry? Yeah, that. About me though."
Terezi's: "DON'T M3SS W1TH M3 M4N, 1'M 4 L4WY3R!" and "YOUR BLOOD SMELLS SWEET, BUT YOUR F34R AND D3C3PT1ON R33K!"
John's: "Wow, you aliens are just full of cool tricks!" and "I call on the might of Zillywho!"

Karkat + Terezi vs. John + Sollux
Karkat's: “I’M DONE FUCKING AROUND HERE, THIS ENDS NOW!” and “GO SUCK ON YOUR OWN FECES, YOU BUNCH OF FUCKWITS!”
Sollux's: “II can hear the sound of your doomed voices already!” and “II’m siick of thii2. Ju2t diie already, would you?”
Terezi's: “L3T’S FL1P 4 CO1N! GOOD H34DS 1 W1N, B4D H34DS YOU LOS3!” and “H4H4H4H4H4H, 1 LOV3 TH1S G4M3!”
John's: “Wheee, I’m doing the windy thing!” and “By Sassacre's fine moustache, I shall defeat you!”

Post-battle dialogues:

Karkat + Sollux vs. Terezi + John
Sollux: Niice moves, diickwad
Karkat: NOT SO BAD YOURSELF, FUCKFACE.
Sollux: Of cour2e now we kiinda have to be enemiies. Or maybe liike… friiends wiith black beniifiits.
Karkat: YEAH, I… GUESS THAT COULD WORK.
Sollux: Worth a 2hot. ...How the fuck am II 2upposed two wiink wiith my u2ual emotiicon? Whatever. *wiink* There.

=> Flirt
=> Talk to someone else
=> Round 2!

<Flirt>
Karkat: *SIGH* WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH SUCH A SPONGE-ROTTED PIECE OF DOUCHE?
Sollux: Because wiithout me, you’d be even more of a hopele22 bumbliing iidiiot than you already are. How the fuck you alway2 manage to fuck everythiing up 2o badly, II wiill never under2tand!
Karkat: OH, I’M THE FUCK-UP? YOU’RE ONE TO TALK! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DIED NOW? I’M NOT THE ONE WHO’S ABOUT TO HAVE HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM IN ROUND TWO!
Sollux: Hey KK, do you liike campiing? Becau2e thii2 competiitiion ii2 about two get really… iinTENT2!
Karkat: FUCK YOU CAPTOR! FUCK YOU AND THE LAME PUN HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!
Sollux: My pun2 are cool, and we both know iit. KK, iif II diidn’t know better, II’d say thii2 wa2 gettiing kiind of… caliigiinous.

=> Talk to someone else
=> Round 2!

Karkat + John vs. Sollux + Terezi
John: Haha, that was fun! We make a pretty good team Karkat!
Karkat: YEAH, I’LL ADMIT, YOU HANDLED YOURSELF WITH A MUCH GREATER SEMBLANCE OF COMPETENCE THAN I WAS EXPECTING FROM A NERD LIKE YOU.
John: Um… thanks?
Karkat: DON’T EXPECT ANY MERCY FROM ME IN ROUND TWO THOUGH, I WILL FUCKING OBLITERATE YOU.
John: But Karkat, I thought we were friends!
Karkat: YEAH? WELL THINK AGAIN. THIS IS A FUCKING DEATH BATTLE, NOT SOME FRIENDLY MEET-AND-GREET!
John: Yeah, I know! But do we really have to fight just... because… we have to fight? Okay, that came out stupid, but you know what I mean!
Karkat: I… GUESS NOT, IF YOU’RE REALLY INTENT ON STICKING BY THIS FRIENDS THING. MAY THE BEST MAN WIN, OR WHATEVER.
John: Hehe, cool!

=> Round 2!:

Karkat + Terezi vs. John + Sollux
Karkat: WE STILL MAKE A PRETTY GOOD TEAM, EVEN IF YOU DO ANTAGONIZE ME AT EVERY FUCKING TURN.
Terezi: 4ND YOU’R3 ST1LL 4S 4DORABLE 4S 3V3R!
Karkat: SEE? THIS IS THE KIND OF CONFUSING SHIT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! I NEVER KNOW WHAT IT’S GOING TO BE WITH YOU! DO YOU HATE ME? DO YOU LOVE ME? WHAT’S YOUR FUCKING GAME?
Terezi: WHO S4YS 1 H4V3 4 G4M3?
Karkat: BECAUSE LITERALLY *EVERYTHING* IS A GAME WITH YOU! THAT’S THE PROBLEM!
Terezi: K4RK4T, TH1S 1S 3X4CTLY WHY W3 W1LL N3V3R WORK 4S 4 R3D COUPL3. W3’RE WH4T? S3V3N SW33PS OLD? W3’R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 PL3NTY OF T1M3 TO F1GUR3 OUT 3X4CTLY WH4T W3 W4NT TO B3. UNT1L TH3N, 1’M H4PPY JUST H4V1NG SOM3 FUN! BUT YOU’R3 NOT. 4ND TH4T’S OK4Y! BUT YOU N33D TO STOP 4SSUM1NG TH4T 1 H4V3 SOM3 K1ND OF H1DD3N 4G3ND4. TH3 TRUTH 1S TH4T 1’M 4S CONFUS3D 4S YOU 4R3 4BOUT US, USU4LLY. TH3 D1FF3R3NC3 1S TH4T 1’M OK4Y W1TH TH4T.

=> Talk to someone else
=> Round 2!

<Talk to someone else>
John: Hey Karkat, could we step out into the hall for a minute?
Karkat: WHY?
John: I want to talk to you about something but… it’s kind of private.
Karkat: YEAH, SURE, THAT’S FINE I GUESS. COME ON. *opens door*
John: Oh man, I can’t believe you actually fell for the old bucket at the top of the door trick! Classic!
Karkat: *SHRIEK*
John: Okay, maybe substituting the water with corn syrup may have been taking it a little too far. ...The red food coloring was a nice touch though, don’t you think?
Karkat: I. AM GOING. TO KILL YOU!

=> Calm down
=> Kill him

<Kill him>
=> Karkat, throttle

=> Terezi, mediate

c3< AUSPISICISE! c3<
GAME OVER
You are disqualified for picking fights outside of the arena. Both you and John are sent home.

<Calm down>
Karkat: I HATE AGREEING WITH MY SHITLORD OF A DANCESTOR ABOUT ANYTHING, BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT ARE JUST NOT FUCKING COOL. THIS IS ONE OF THEM.
John: Gosh! I’m sorry! I mean Vriska told me about your thing with cleaning supplies like buckets, but I didn’t realize that you would be this upset by one.
Karkat: IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT THE BUCKET. IT’S ABOUT THE LIQUID TOO. SPECIFICALLY THE COLOR OF SAID LIQUID. OH MY GOD, GET IT THE FUCK OFF OF ME!
John: I’m really, really sorry! That was a stupid prank for me to play!
Karkat: I’M GOING TO GO TAKE AN ABLUTION.

=> Round 2

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you were about to enter round two with your partner, when you were distracted by a thought, wondering what the people in the other sector are up to. You’ll be fighting the champion of Sector Two in Round Three. You wonder who will prevail.
But now you have the opportunity to make some last cutting remarks towards your opponent before your battle! Or you could just go fight straight away. What will you do?

=> Goad opponent
=> Round 2

<Goad>

Rose vs. Aradia
Rose:
Aradia:

Rose vs. Vriska
Rose: It’s amazing really how two heroes can share the same aspect, and yet our powers are so different. The light aspect, I believe, is one with many facets.
Vriska: Well yeah, that’s what you get when you deal with something as sym8olic and a8stract as Light. Though obviously, since my class is more active, while yours is passive, I have the advantage!
Rose: Do you though? Is the act of thievery really more powerful than knowledge itself? Knowledge, I might remind you, is power. At least, that’s what they say, and I am rather inclined to believe them, biased though my opinion may be.
Vriska: Who is this am8iguous “they” of whom you speak? Have you met “them?” What do they know?
Rose: They are as ambiguous as they are numerous. “They” are the ancient philosophers and speakers of wisdom, and wise old mothers and lusii everywhere. They say that knowledge is power, because they have experience that tells them so. For example, I know that luck doesn’t really matter, and that gives me power over you.
Vriska: We’ll just have to see about that!
Rose: Yes, we will.

=> Round two

Rose vs. Kanaya
Rose: I had hoped that we could be friends, but since we are to be locked in combat soon, it seems we are destined for enmity.
Kanaya: I… Had No Idea You Felt So Strongly About Our Rivalry!
Rose: I was being sarcastic, Kanaya. Though our battles of alternatingly passive aggressive and fully aggressive one-ups-manship have proven quite entertaining.
Kanaya: Then… It Is A Rivalry That You Seek? Its So Hard To Tell What With All Of Your Human Insincerity
Rose: Well naturally. When one is locked in mortal combat, what else could one expect?
Kanaya: Very Well To Put It As I Believe You Humans Do: Bring It
Rose: Rest assured, my nemesis, the ambiguous “it” to which you refer will indeed be brought.
Kanaya: Excellent I Shall Bring It Too
Rose: One can never really have too much after all.

=> Round two

=> Round Two: Strife!

Rose vs. Aradia Catchphrases
Rose:
Aradia:

Rose vs. Vriska Catchphrases
Rose:
Vriska:

Rose vs. Kanaya Catchphrases
Rose:
Kanaya:

Same sort of structure for Karkat’s round 2
Also, round 3
I’m really sorry I don’t have more, but I’m leaving to go camping like literally right now and I thought that I had more time to do this!
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